![\"Viking](\"https:\/\/sidewaysthoughts.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/10\/VIKING1.jpg\" "\\"Viking")
<\/p>\nA brief non-event on my scooter prompted a fellow commuter to question if I have a \u2018death wish\u2019.\u00a0 This leads me to ponder the rationale behind initiating a change in others through inane questions.<\/p>\n
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I find my 6 minute and 25 second scooter commute to the train station each morning to be refreshing and free.\u00a0\u00a0 With the wind beating my chest, I weave between the potholes singing Viking war songs to declare my manhood on my white and baby blue Honda Scoopy.\u00a0 Such was my state of mind this morning when I paused to let Mr. Green Shirt White Car proceed in front of me in the round about.<\/p>\n
I followed Mr. Green Shirt White Car into the train station parking lot and I proceeded to park in my favourite and often available spot.\u00a0 As I fixed the damage my helmet had done to my freshly gelled hair, I heard Mr. Green Shirt state from over my shoulder, \u201cYou must have a death wish!\u201d<\/p>\n
Still primarily concerned about my helmet hair but quite interested in what might follow such a statement, my \u201cOh?\u201d was met with a scowl and silence as Mr. Green Shirt walked off.\u00a0 After getting my dome to a not-so-plastered state to be as un-dork-like as possible, I hurried after Mr. Green Shirt to continue what I was sure to be a riveting conversation.\u00a0 \u201cMost people start with good morning\u201d I quip, trying to be all friendly and clever.<\/p>\n
Mr. Green Shirt would have none of my cheerfulness, and at 5:33am, I can\u2019t say I blame him. His main concern was his interpretation of the look on my face as I pulled up to the round about to wait for him to go around.\u00a0 I felt the need to apologise, but was not sure for what as most people find my Viking war-cry face quite pleasant.\u00a0 My mind feeling like it was as speed limited as my Scoopy, all I got out was something about how I did indeed stop for him, to which Mr. Green Shirt muttered on about me not having a lot of metal around me and again with that death wish comment he seemed pleased to declare.<\/p>\n
When asked the questions as to my death wish, I felt stupid, insecure and immediately defensive (my first version of this post as an immature rant offering Mr. Green Shirt to the Viking gods).\u00a0 Reflecting on the situation, I see the question as an approach to change that is disrespectful and ineffective, yet pervasive in our culture.\u00a0 It is like asking a child if they want a hit, an employee if they want to be fired or a partner if they want to terminate the relationship.\u00a0 The question presents a lose-lose option for the respondent to choose between idiocy and capitulation<\/p>\n
We may achieve the change we are after with questions like these, but at what cost to the other\u2019s self esteem and our relationships?\u00a0 What if Mr. Green Shirt had commented that \u201cWhen you pulled up to the round about, your Viking face made me feel…\u201d or perhaps \u201cYou could probably be more safe if you did not attack round abouts like a Norse legend\u201d.\u00a0 While both of those statements would have solicited a blog post in themselves, I would have felt a lot better about the process.<\/p>\n
We are all a bit of Mr. Green Shirt.\u00a0 If you truly desire change in the other person and not just personal validation, please consider presenting some other options.\u00a0 Perhaps then we can make this life a little more like a utopian Valhalla.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"