![\"\"](\"https:\/\/sidewaysthoughts.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/04\/conversation.jpg\" "\\"conversation\\"")
<\/p>\nMy kid traded her bike for pavement last week in her participation of one of life\u2019s more popular character-building exercises.\u00a0 As I conveyed the particulars of the gaping bone-revealing wound to my friends and colleagues, they responded in-kind with their own superman-flights off rooftops and stumbles down stairs.\u00a0 Their responses made me aware of the interesting social norm of self-disclosure reciprocity.<\/p>\n
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The premise goes like so: we build trust and understanding with others by disclosing something about ourselves.\u00a0 We develop rapport by disclosing things of a similar nature to what has been disclosed to us.\u00a0 In practical terms, we have a desperate need to participate in the conversation through sharing a tale related to what we just heard.<\/p>\n
I am unsure if we do this out of self-interest to make ourselves feel good or if it is based on a desire to empathise and set the other person at ease.\u00a0 Either way, I am aware there are rules around having such a conversation:<\/p>\n
Method of the injury<\/strong><\/p>\n The more exotic the method of your injury, the better… to a point. \u00a0Taking a tumble when you were three \u2013 standard fare.\u00a0 Clipped by a car when you saved that little girl \u2013 high kudos.\u00a0 Telling your boss about cutting yourself last year on that broken crack pipe \u2013 not so good.<\/p>\n Rarity and severity of the injury<\/strong><\/p>\n Broken bones are common enough, sprains a bit mundane.\u00a0 Anything where your insides end up on the outside makes great office talk.\u00a0 Discussing that infected splinter you got from your weekend hobby of whittling wooden Harry Potter figurines will brand you a conversational muggle.<\/p>\n Socially acceptable nature of the injury<\/strong><\/p>\n Test your responses to the two scenarios below:<\/p>\n Scenario 1<\/span> Scenario 2<\/span> You get the idea.\u00a0 Self-disclosure does not mean you can be exhibitionist.<\/p>\n Most of us participate in physical or online communities in some shape or form.\u00a0 Some of us are even involved in developing and shaping those communities.\u00a0 Remember, everyone wants to tell their story.\u00a0 Rather than telling your story for self-gratification, share with the intention to allow others the opportunity to tell theirs.<\/p>\n With that in mind…<\/p>\n My kid busted her chin open, cracked her tooth, chipped her elbow and strained her neck last week flying off her bike at the bottom of the appropriately named Hill Street, requiring three internal and five external stiches on her still beautiful chin.\u00a0 I jumped off a table and got three stiches in my chin when I was a kid, still have a slight scar.\u00a0 How did you get your scar?<\/p>\n There\u2019s a comment form at the bottom of this post…<\/p>\n that\u2019s your queue…<\/p>\n you can start typing now…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\nMe: \u201cMy kid just cracked open her chin.<\/em>\u201d
\nYou: \u201cOh yeah?\u00a0 I cracked my forehead open when I…<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n
\nMe: \u00a0\u201cI was walking down the street the other day when I ruptured my rectum<\/em>\u201d
\nYou:\u00a0 \u201cUm…<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\nApplication: you tell me yours if I tell you mine<\/h2>\n